Day 40 Rotton Eggs

So Poland joined the European Union. I don't know what exactly that means in its greatness... but I do know that it means there are laws that must be complied with... things like, food handling and sales... to keep the people healthy you know. And I have to put a plug in here... Europe is a great place to live! Really... it is!
But since I got here I have wondered about a thing or two:
1) the meat. I was dang near gagging down meat before I got here. My McKay thinks meat belongs on his plate at every meal. His father is the same way. But the smell of meats is more than I could handle and the sight has nearly done me in for years. And then we have to talk about Pork... not the biggest fan... haven't been since I barfed up a hot dog the day we said farewell to my cousin Chad who was leaving to Spain on his mission. I think I was 10 ish? You can eat your meat. I cook it for my family. And I even have eaten my share... a lot of it! It just grosses me out. No offense. I have to have a motherload coke to push it down most of the time. Coke dissolves it like battery acid before it ever hits your guts. Don't judge.
2) eggs. I have been an egg consumer for years. I even owned and opperated a successful egg producing project in my back yard with 15 beautiful hens. We gathered and ate farm fresh eggs daily for 3 years. Mum makes the best scrambled eggs you ever put on your fork and Papa Nate can make a fried egg that would make egg haters into egg lovers after just one bite. No kidding! Before coming here we went through dozens of eggs in a week: Hard boiled, scrambled, fried, sandwiches and burritos. We put extra egg in baked goods to make them fluffier! We like eggs. But since moving here... oh wow... can't touch them! I know that eggs don't have to be refigerated... but I think they should be in the store! In Poland they are on the store shelf... and it grosses me out! It didn't help that I watched a lady shake her eggs one day. You know how you open the carton to see if any cracked? She shook hers. WHAT THE??? What does that mean? Then one day I cracked an egg and the yolk looked hard boiled even though the whites were still normal. That was the day I stopped eating eggs.

IF YOU ARE PREGNANT OR HAVE A WEAK STOMACH DO NOT READ THIS NEXT PART!!!

But then tonight I was making Martta's banana waffles for dinner. (bless you dear Martta for that recipe!) And I got out the eggs... and I cracked that first one and then the second... and I'll be darned if the very moment I touched that 2nd egg shell to the counter it popped and the most foul looking green watery liquid shot from it... and a putrid smell instantly permiated the room... and right off I gagged up my uvula! HOLY Gag of all GAGNESS! And I set that egg down in a bowl and handed the bowl to Mi Amore with specific instructions, "GET THIS OUT OF HERE, I AM GOING TO BARF!" And he knew I was as serious as I had ever been about vomit. And then through my tears (gagging makes me teary) I wiped down the green juices off of my counter top, quickly disposed of the paper towell on my way to the bathroom and then you can imagine what happened. As I burried my head in the sink I began singing primary songs to try to get that aweful sight out of mind... and it didnt work! I was humming Follow the prophet as loud as I could through the gags... but No dice!
And the second I heard Mr. Mecham walk back into the house I dumped half a bottle of Melaluca Eucaliptus oil under each of my shnoz holes (burned the sences out of my smeller), grabbed a towel and wrapped my face tight and then announced that we would be going out to dinner if we were going to eat at all! It was the fastest I've ever seen my family get out of the house to go anywhere. Pizza HUT.
I am still gagging just thinking about it. I will never, not ever, eat another egg...so help me.

Dear European Union,
Poland needs you to send a health inspector to their grocery stores in Lublin to check out the smell in the meat section and ESPECIALLY the egg situation. You will be ashamed. I have a stink bomb proof in the field out back that compliances are not being met.
Sincerely,
Still gagging.
p.s. Please call the FDA for some guidlines.