days 43 and 44 The REAL DEAL... RUTS

Here is the real deal... We are stuck in a little rut. Sometimes it feels really BIG! We don't have anything we HAVE to do... We have many things we'd LIKE to do... and we don't know how to accomplish any of them. God gave us a brain to be usefully accessed... and I am certain that I used to know how to do that. For some reason when you get into a rut your brain doesn't fire on all cylendars. I feel like I have taken 37 years off my life of learning and wisdom, lit in on fire and watched it burn and then started completely over... It is frusterating...
Here is a list of new beginnings for us:
1) home school. Not in love with it yet... but I know I can be.
2) foreign language. I am ever so slowly learning it... Most days I feel like I am in a deep dark hole.
3) driving with a new set of rules... or perhaps the lack of any rules at all?... Please pray for our safety every day and night and 3 time at all your meals. This place makes 5:00 rush hour on the 101 look good.
4) grocery shopping with all new foods, some missing foods, completley different labels and the inablility to ask questions about any of it: an experience that goes hand in hand with #2, foreign language, and I have become one with my i phone translater... grocery shopping is NEVEr a 10 minute experience but rather a 2 hour ordeal.
5) Church in a little apartment room up stairs... off the main drag...
6)green foilage that doesn't require an added amount of irrigation or watering. Bless this country!
7) no ice in my drink. people who look at me strange when I ask for extra ice and become so dazed and confused by such a request that they think I said "NO ICE AT ALL PLEASE." And if I really want to trip them out then I ask for a cup with only ice in it. That is how you confuse the McDonalds man!
8) Old ladies with knock out legs and nice bodies! (thats what you get for walking everywhere your entire life.)
9) dressing up to go to the grocery store. (I love love that everyone here takes pride in how they look. It really is like taking a step back in time... before the time of my children... and perhaps more like when mum was a wee one.)
10)a baguette of bread is a meal. nothing more needed. It is also a snack for your young children in the grocery store rather than junk food. And no need to cut it, just bite it off and eat the entire thing.
11) The only time I ever felt like I didn't have a friend close by was when I lived in Florida... Then I found the ever fabulous and most beautiful Jackie Roettiger... Who in my humble opinion is an ANGEL... so my friendlessness lasted mere weeks. But BOY HOWDY... I am without socialization out here... My vocabulary is digressing. My ability to think is moving backwards... and to be real honest, It is a first for me to not have a friend and to be not know how to make one considering I can't speak the language. Weird!


The boss called. Like... the real live Boss for DOme. He wanted to chat with me about how its going and what he can do for me. My response: "is this a loaded question? are we taking the gloves off?" and he said "not loaded. Gloves off."
Then I told him how it was hard. And after I told him all that hard bidness I told him I love it here. Because even though it is hard, I know that I am supposed to be here. I know that it will get easier with sustained effort on my part. I am in a beautiful place and there are lots of reasons to be happy... even if its hard. And even if we've been in a rut. I'll be darned if that sweet Mr. Dan Dome finished up with a sincere question, "what can I do for you?" and I choked back a tear and said, "just send us our school books." and without hesitation he had already worked out the logistics for that to be done.
I think I will take one step out of my rut now.
This weekend I will watch conference with a few things in mind... I am sure that will pull me the rest of the way out.